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  • About Kaitlin
  • Somatic Workbook [Pre-Order]
  • Podcast & Blog
  • Learn with Kaitlin
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  • FREE STRESS RELIEF TRAINING

Writing Your Lovestory: The Science of Attachment

with Bethany Saltman
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Welcome to the twelfth episode of Season Four of Wisdom for Wellbeing Podcast. On this episode I interview Bethany Saltman, Author, Editor, & Researcher.

This episode is particularly fitting for the week of Valentine’s Day as Bethany talks about how the science of attachment can bring us closer to ourselves and those we love.

Want to keep in touch? Head to @drkaitlin on Instagram or @wisdomforwellbeingpod on Facebook to connect.

What is covered in this episode:

>>What it means to have inner authority

>>Understanding attachment science vs the pop culture of attachment parenting

>>How we are hard-wired for attachment from an evolutionary framework, and what this means physiologically

>>Understanding how we provide a ‘mystical mirror’ over generations

>>Bethany’s struggles as a mother and insights into the shifts that can happen when we look at our grief and pain

>>The role Bethany’s spiritual practice as a Buddhist has had in allowing her to sit with discomfort

>>The different means of attachment in psychological science and Buddhist philosophy

>>The empowering view of it never being to late to cultivate secure attachment with yourself and others

>>How you can start writing your own love-story and the role this has in your wellbeing

Links Discussed

  • bethanysaltman.com
  • Check out Bethany’s book Strange Situation: A Mother’s Journey into the Science of Attachment
  • Instagram @bethany_saltman

Bethany Saltman

Bethany Saltman is an author, editor and researcher, and her work can be seen in magazines like the New Yorker, New York Magazine, Atlantic Monthly, Parents, and many others.

Strange Situation: A Mother’s Journey Into the Science of Attachment, published in April, 2020 by Random House, is her first book. It’s inspired by the birth of her daughter in 2006, who she loved dearly, but feared she was failing. Why? Because she was still her, and not the kind of mother she’d hoped to become. So she spent ten years teaching herself the science of attachment, traveling to labs, trainings, and archives, trying to discover what kind of mother she really was, and if she was good enough for her. What she learned changed everything about how she thought of herself, her childhood, and the nature of love.

She is incredibly proud that, among other incredible reviews and accolades, New Scientist called Strange Situation One of the Best Science Books of 2020.

She is also a bestselling book coach, helping writers envision and execute their books—from pitch, to platform, to proposal, to publication, to PR.

Bethany received a B.A. from Antioch College, where she was one of the architects of the nation’s first Affirmative Consent Policy. She went on to receive her M.F.A in poetry from Brooklyn College, where she studied with Allen Ginsberg and published her work in many national journals. She is honored that Antioch awarded her their 2020 Rebecca Rice Award for Achievement in Profession.

A longtime Zen student, she is devoted to the fine art and game-changing effects of paying attention.

She lives in a small town in the Catskills with her husband, daughter, and two dogs.

Listen to previous Podcasts

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Season 5: Episode 20

What You Need to Know to Use Yoga as a Therapeutic Health Practice

with Professor Holger Cramber
Season 5: Episode 19

Therapists on the Mic: Psychological Reflections on the Podcast and Life 

with Kaitlin Harkess, PhD & Kate Matthew, MPsych
Season 5: Episode 18

Valued Living in the Holiday Rush

with Kaitlin Harkess, PhD
1 2 3

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A little photo dump of the enriching days I’ve j A little photo dump of the enriching days I’ve just had at the ANZ ACBS Conference in Melbourne ✨

From the pre-conference workshop with the brilliant Dr. Emily Sandoz to the open-hearted spirit of this community, I’m so grateful for the chance to learn, share, and connect.

So many brilliant minds with such generosity, both in the formal sessions and the spontaneous conversations over coffee. I’m walking away with new skills and even more learning that I can’t wait to lean into.

Huge thanks to the amazing team that brought this all together -I appreciate the warm and inspiring space you created for us @anz_acbs 💙🧡💚
What a week… what a decade!? A week ago we cele What a week… what a decade!?

A week ago we celebrated The Somatic Workbook launch, and my dear friend @mariahgates_ hosted so beautifully that she missed the premiere of a film she worked on as Location Manager (check out Penny Lane is Dead!). Such a generous gift of friendship 💛

Earlier this week we did get to go see Penny Lane is Dead and it was wildly funny, creative, and powerful (just like her🥰 and what an amazing script, production and team behind this movie 🤩 I’m so impressed 🎥 ). And this means a lot, as hilarious has got to be the last way I would normally describe a horror movie! Fab locations too- of course!

Then today a memory popped up: me handing in my PhD dissertation on October 14th, the same date The Somatic Workbook was published a decade later.

Life unfolds in ways we can’t always plan, often more beautifully than we imagine. Grateful for the people, projects, and moments that make it all worthwhile.

#TheSomaticWorkbook #FullCircleMoment #AuthorLife #PhDJourney #CreativeFriends #PennyLaneIsDead #BookLaunch #SomaticPsychology #Gratitude #GrowthJourney
We all have these little betrayals, the moments th We all have these little betrayals, the moments that remind us being human is gloriously imperfect.

Sometimes they’re funny (like the yoga teacher skipping savasana).

Sometimes they’re tender (when your body remembers what your mind forgot).

Either way, they’re invitations to pause, notice, and soften instead of self-blame.

🩵The Somatic Workbook is full of ways to meet those moments with curiosity and compassion, not perfection.

What would make your betrayal list right now?

#thesomaticworkbook #nervoussystemhealing #somatictherapy #selfcompassion #beinghuman #psychologistsofinstagram #healingjou
Ever wonder what keeps me grounded, curious, and a Ever wonder what keeps me grounded, curious, and a little obsessed? 🩵

There could honestly be a hundred more… but I’m curious about yours. What little rituals or joys keep you feeling alive? 👇

Photos by @allison_marie_croft at @allison_marie_croft at @fleetwoodshackmiddleton (and the @healingarts_studio Sauna)

TherapyTea #SomaticPsychology #YogaPractice #MindBodyConnection #SelfCareRituals #NervousSystemReset #VeganTreats #SleepOnset #ShaktiMatLove #InfraredSauna #WellnessObsessions #DailyRituals #MindfulLiving #HealthyHabits
✨ Life of a (Published) Author ✨ What a week. ✨ Life of a (Published) Author ✨

What a week. One week since publication day, and I’m still catching my breath…  in the best possible way. 🩵

It’s surreal and deeply special to see The Somatic Workbook out in the world, and even sitting in the front lobby of @healingarts_studio - the very place I had the honour of witnessing this book land in someones hands last week.

Now amongst consutling, I’m diving into prep for the @anz_acbs Conference, where I’ll be offering a training on that includes somatic awareness to a room full of fellow psychologists, followed by a few more trainings in November. It’s all busy, but the kind of busy I relish in.

Sure hope my heart rate variability is high right now (somatic joke 😉).

Feeling grateful, grounded, and so excited for what’s ahead. 

If you’ve picked up a copy of The Somatic Workbook, I’d love to hear where you’ve been reading from or what’s resonated most so far, share below or tag me in your post or story.

#TheSomaticWorkbook #LifeOfAnAuthor #BookLaunch #SomaticPsychology #MindBodyConnection
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Dr. Kaitlin pays her respects to the Kaurna peoples as the Traditional Owner’s of the land on which she works and lives. Dr Kaitlin acknowledges that the Kaurna people have social, spiritual and historical connections to this land and their connections are as strong today as they have always been. She would like to extend this acknowledgment out to the Traditional Owners of the land on which you are based, and to acknowledge the Ktunaxa and Kinbasket Peoples of what is now called Canada, as she was born and gratefully raised on their traditional unceded territory.

Mandala Artwork by Scarlet Barnett
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