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  • About Kaitlin
  • Somatic Workbook [Pre-Order]
  • Podcast & Blog
  • Learn with Kaitlin
  • Contact
  • FREE STRESS RELIEF TRAINING

Cultivating Psychological Flexibility: The 3 Steps to Live Your Life’s Purpose

with Dr. Steven C. Hayes
Please ‘Subscribe‘ and leave a review if this podcast has benefited you.

Welcome to the ninth episode of the Wisdom for Wellbeing Podcast. On this episode I interview Dr. Steven C. Hayes, co-founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT. ACT is a popular evidence-based psychotherapy that uses mindfulness, acceptance, and values-based methods that has been found to be helpful in a number of areas, ranging from anxiety and mood disorders to elite performance. As you will hear in this episode, Dr. Hayes offers heartfelt examples of how to live your life’s purpose using the 6 psychological flexibility skills, which can be grouped into three processes: 1) Become more Open (Acceptance + Defusion); 2) Become ore aware and in the moment (Presence/ Mindfulness + Self Awareness); and, 3) Become more actively engaged in life (Values + Committed Action).

This episode is a real honour for me as ACT was the first type of psychotherapy I felt really drawn to. In fact, it was actually reading one of Dr. Hayes’ research papers when I was at university that assured me I was moving in the right direction with my studies. I ended up emailing him to thank him for his wonderful work, and to my surprise, he wrote back. I think this speaks to the type of person Dr. Hayes is, and the very real way he lives his values on a day-to-day basis.

What is covered in this episode:

>> Exploring the smallest number of things that do the largest amount of good (think: the 80/20 rule), and how this formed what we now know as ACT

>> Psychological flexibility and the 3 processes + why this is important at this moment in history (stress, anxiety and depression are being increasingly reported, even though ‘quality of living’ is improving)

>> Acceptance as showing up (using mindfulness) and moving forward taking committed action

>> Seeds of wisdom as a gift, and how your own history can be just this

>> How language and your problem solving mind are connected

>> How you can ‘flip’ your pain into your purpose #wehurtwherewecare

>> Using yoga as a perspective taking skill and integrating it with ACT

Links Discussed

  • Dr. Steven C. Hayes’ webpage and books
  • A Liberated Mind Website + Bonuses (including the Cartoon Book Version illustrated by Dr. Hayes’ daughter Esther M. Hayes)

Please ‘Subscribe‘ and leave a review if this podcast has benefited you.

Dr. Steven C. Hayes

Steven C. Hayes is a Nevada Foundation Professor in the Behavior Analysis program at the Department of Psychology at the University of Nevada. An author of 46 books and nearly 650 scientific articles, he is the developer of Relational Frame Theory, an account of human higher cognition, and has guided its extension to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or “ACT” a popular evidence-based form of psychotherapy that uses mindfulness, acceptance, and values-based methods and has been shown to be helpful in a wide range of areas.

His popular book Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life was featured in Time Magazine among several other major media outlets and for a time was the best-selling self-help book in the United States, and his new book, A Liberated Mind, has been recently released to wide acclaim.

Dr. Hayes has been President of several scientific societies and has received several national awards, such as the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies. Google Scholar ranks him as among the most cited scholars in all areas of study in the world.

Listen to previous Podcasts

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Season 5: Episode 18

Valued Living in the Holiday Rush

with Kaitlin Harkess, PhD
1 2 3

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Ever wondered why sometimes you shut down, other t Ever wondered why sometimes you shut down, other times you explode? 🤯 Then, sometimes you feel calm and connected. It’s all about what floor your nervous system is on.

🩶 Freeze / Fawn (Hypoarousal)
When things feel too much, the body powers down. You might go numb, shut down, or appease to stay safe. It’s the system’s ancient way of saying, “Let’s survive this.”

❤️ Fight or Flight (Hyperarousal)
Energy surges here, your heart races, breath quickens, you’re ready to run or push back. The body’s mobilising for protection, not punishment.

💛 Social Engagement (Window of Tolerance)
Here, the nervous system feels safe enough to connect, reflect, and play. You can think clearly, feel your emotions, and respond, rather than react.

Polyvagal Theory helps us understand how our body moves between these floors, moment to moment. Regulation isn’t about staying on one level, it’s learning to notice where you are and gently find your way back to safety. 

For practical tools to widen your window and work with each state, explore The Somatic Workbook for Nervous System Regulation and Anxiety Management 🩵📘
Travel tools for staying grounded (and hydrated) o Travel tools for staying grounded (and hydrated) on the go ✈️

Between flights, conferences and full days of learning, these are the things that help me feel human:
💆‍♀️ A gua sha + crystal roller with jojoba oil: hydration + nervous system settling in one ritual
👟 Sneakers: because I walked an hour to the conference each day instead of swapping shoes (movement and grounding before presenting = essential)
⌚️ A watch so I could stay present without holding my phone
🧣 Cosy sweater + trackies for evenings to actually rest
🎧 Earbuds (currently living their best life somewhere in Glen Waverley… one of the few Melbourne suburbs I know 🍄😂), but honestly, the walks without them were lovely too
🧘‍♀️ Yoga gear to drop into class when I could
😴 Eye mask + Loop earplugs for sleep in new places

And this little video, me catching the sun through the trees, was one of those grounding pauses that reminded me how much simply getting outside matters.

Next time: bringing bathers. I’ve found a bathhouse I’m very ready to visit 🌿🧼

#traveltools #groundedtravel #somaticpsychology #selfregulation #nervoussystemhealth #mindbodywellbeing #yogateacher #psychologistontheroad
If you’ve ever wondered how to find your purpose If you’ve ever wondered how to find your purpose in life, think of it like flying an airplane. ✈️

Even planes spend almost no time perfectly on course - yet they still reach their destination.
Because they keep correcting. Tiny adjustments, again and again.

Your values are your destination, the place that feels like heart home.
Your life is the airplane - full of turbulence, detours, and mid-flight recalibrations.

When you live by your values, your purpose naturally unfolds… not all at once, but through steady course corrections.

Because purpose isn’t something you find all at once - it’s something you fly toward, every single day.

#howtofindyourpurposeinlife #values #purpose #psychologist #mindfulness #selfgrowth #ACTtherapy #somaticpsychology #nervoussystemregulation #healingjourney #therapytools
A little photo dump of the enriching days I’ve j A little photo dump of the enriching days I’ve just had at the ANZ ACBS Conference in Melbourne ✨

From the pre-conference workshop with the brilliant Dr. Emily Sandoz to the open-hearted spirit of this community, I’m so grateful for the chance to learn, share, and connect.

So many brilliant minds with such generosity, both in the formal sessions and the spontaneous conversations over coffee. I’m walking away with new skills and even more learning that I can’t wait to lean into.

Huge thanks to the amazing team that brought this all together -I appreciate the warm and inspiring space you created for us @anz_acbs 💙🧡💚
What a week… what a decade!? A week ago we cele What a week… what a decade!?

A week ago we celebrated The Somatic Workbook launch, and my dear friend @mariahgates_ hosted so beautifully that she missed the premiere of a film she worked on as Location Manager (check out Penny Lane is Dead!). Such a generous gift of friendship 💛

Earlier this week we did get to go see Penny Lane is Dead and it was wildly funny, creative, and powerful (just like her🥰 and what an amazing script, production and team behind this movie 🤩 I’m so impressed 🎥 ). And this means a lot, as hilarious has got to be the last way I would normally describe a horror movie! Fab locations too- of course!

Then today a memory popped up: me handing in my PhD dissertation on October 14th, the same date The Somatic Workbook was published a decade later.

Life unfolds in ways we can’t always plan, often more beautifully than we imagine. Grateful for the people, projects, and moments that make it all worthwhile.

#TheSomaticWorkbook #FullCircleMoment #AuthorLife #PhDJourney #CreativeFriends #PennyLaneIsDead #BookLaunch #SomaticPsychology #Gratitude #GrowthJourney
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Dr. Kaitlin pays her respects to the Kaurna peoples as the Traditional Owner’s of the land on which she works and lives. Dr Kaitlin acknowledges that the Kaurna people have social, spiritual and historical connections to this land and their connections are as strong today as they have always been. She would like to extend this acknowledgment out to the Traditional Owners of the land on which you are based, and to acknowledge the Ktunaxa and Kinbasket Peoples of what is now called Canada, as she was born and gratefully raised on their traditional unceded territory.

Mandala Artwork by Scarlet Barnett
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